We say we love them...And we do...
We work so hard for them after all
Hours of sacrifice to cover their every need and sometimes even their wistful desires
Don't they see it? The way we sacrifice for their well being? Work so hard day in and day out? For them? Who could deny our infinite love?
We love them but sometimes I'm afraid our love looks more like a burden we carry than something we enjoy.
Sometimes we love our children with our hands and feet and forget to love them with our eyes and our breath. We forget to see them, breathe them, take them in, enjoy them.
We become managers of homes and tasks and we forget to be human together.... To just BE together.
What does that even look like? Cuddles on the couch? A conversation over hot chocolate and coffee? A real, too-long hug. A glance at each other over a shared joke. Learning something together? Laughing over spills or silly mistakes?
What if our children didn't have to be good or do good to earn our love? What if we didn't have to do or be anything to earn them?
I have always been surrounded by brilliant, admirable hard-working responsible people but I have frequently longed for connection. They say "Don't you see how hard I work for you?" I say "Yes, but that's about you, not about me. Your responsibility has nothing to do with who I am. It is about who you are. The only way I can feel seen in here is for you to enjoy me. I don't want to be your burden. I want to be your joy. I want to be your beloved."
It's easy to get stressed and hard to make light of little moments. It's easy to strive to be productive and not make time for cuddles. Its easy to get bogged down in the responsibility of raising little humans and forget to reflect to them that they are also beautiful, loveable and beloved little souls. We are so busy trying to love them that we sacrifice without seeing. We work without connecting. In our hopeless mission to earn worthiness as parents, we teach our children that simply "being" is not enough because we feel ourselves we are not enough just sitting still. We are ever productive and feel never enough....
But really, we are.... Productivity is not the price we pay to exist on this planet- not for our kids and not for us. Reclaim your eyes and heart and breath and help show your kids that they are beloved and worthy just for being....just like you....
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